


Nightmare Cookoff

by roshytsunami



Series: Bruce Banner Week 2018 [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Genre: Bruce Banner-centric, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 09:46:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16083572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roshytsunami/pseuds/roshytsunami
Summary: This is for the Bruce Week from Septemeber 24-30 of 2018. I couldn't decide on which prompts to do for each day so all of them hence 14 days of Bruce Banner centered fics.Prompt Cooking:Everyone assumes Bruce can cook because he's been everywhere oh how wrong they are.





	Nightmare Cookoff

“Bruce, what the fuck is that?”

Bruce looks down at the burrito and then at Steve confused. The American flag just swore. He swallows his first bite before speaking to Steve.

“A burrito?”

“But it doesn’t have tomatoes or cheese or even lettuce what is even in that thing?”

“Fried rice, beans, cream cheese, some kale, and that deli meat turkey I think?” he watches as Steve’s face changes different shades of green and that’s saying something coming from the guy who is green part-time. “And why are you so concerned?”

“It’s not a burrito. It’s not made of burrito things.” Steve makes a face of disgust. “You know we don’t have to ration food right now. You can eat what you want?”

“Yeah it’s why I’m eating a burrito,” he says sarcastically. “A burrito can be made of anything. It is usually leftovers and not typically what most Americans eat from Moe’s or Chipotle and I’m freaking you out again so I’m going to head to another room and eat it.”

Geez for someone who ate boiled cabbage and has been on more war and battlefields Steve sure is squeamish when it comes to food. Bruce looks at his masterpiece leaking from the soft tortilla and slurps it up before having another bite. What it still tastes good.

“It’s not a Burrito how can he eat that?” Steve says to himself confused.

The next victim of Bruce’s eating habits happens to be poor Peter Parker. Poor bright-eyed Peter Parker who houses a frog in his mouth. That meme is never getting old or going away. Tony has made sure of it.

“Hey Dr. Banner I was just coming to uh what’s that,” Peter asks looking at something green, blue and white and Bruce is just eating it.

“It’s a salad.” He states bluntly.

“But it looks like blue jello for a dressing and what are those vegetables?”

“Oh well, nothing special blueberry jelly, pickles, some daikon, radishes, canned green beans, and then mozzarella cheese and goat cheese and some strawberries and then regular boiled peanuts. It’s a salad.”

“Dr. Banner no offense but that’s not a salad that’s a monster salad.” He says eyes widening looking at the mess of a salad. 

“Yes, a wonderful monster salad now what did you come to ask.”

“Eh it’s about my web shooter,” he begins still not able to look at the monster salad sitting on the lab table behind Bruce.

The third and final victim of Bruce’s cooking nightmare is Natasha forewarned by three cowards.

Natasha is the first to arrive back to the kitchen area when she sees three grown men hiding in the dining area.

“Why are you hiding?”

“Bruce is cooking tonight.” Answers Tony.

“He ate a burrito made of leftovers.” States Steve.

“His salad looked like the monster from the black lagoon!” Says Peter.

“No don’t go in Natasha I don’t think you’ll be able to handle it whatever he is making.” Whispers Steve as she rolls her eyes at the three men before entering the kitchen. It smells like bread and some other rich aroma in the air she can’t quite place.

“Oh uh hey Natasha,” he beams punching the dough on the table, “uh making some eggy bread to go with the soup.”

“Do you mind if I look at the soup? You got three men scared to show their faces in here.” She smirks.

He smiles, “not at all. I didn’t put any eyeballs in it or blueberries.” She lifts the lid and smells a nice fragrance of vegetable soup and the sauce looks good. She taste tests it and smiles.

“It tastes good.”

“Uh yeah, I can cook. I guess I freaked them out with some meal choices earlier.” He sighs, “I know what I eat is not pleasing to the eyes all the time it’s just a hard habit to break. Either eat the gross food and survive or starve…not exactly a good way to cook but it works. And I don’t waste food so that’s a plus.”

“I understand. Now tell me how you learned to make bread it looks so smooth.” She says examining the dough. Bruce grins and shows her the windowpane test.

“Huh you a fan of bread,” he teases as he begins to shape the dough and divide it into even pieces.

“The only carb I can eat non stop if the bread is fluffy kind of a treat. Like cake.” She watches as he rolls the balls of dough into perfect balls and places them in the greased dish.

“Well, I learned it from my aunt. She was one of those blue ribbon pastry makers up north so any pastry or bread you want I can make.” He smiles, “she let me bake bread when I had some bad days. Mostly to beat the shit out of it. It helped.”

“Thank you for sharing Bruce. Is there anything I can help with before I bring in the three cowards?” She smiles.

“Hmm not really but you can give the three cowards some of this,” he chuckles placing a few dollops of plain white yogurt in a bowl. “Tell them it’s curds and whey a specialty for dinner tonight.”


End file.
